losing track: mobile story 2
When you lose yourself in another sometimes you have to find yourself on the road home to yourself.
This short is a fictional story of a woman, Arianne, who is lost in her relationship, distanced from herself, and needing to find herself again. It is symbolic of all relationships that end badly and ideally captures the raw emotion and feeling of needing to find the energy & movement to go forward and not remain in the same metaphorical place...to find a new home within yourself and escape any cage that confines you.
I filmed this in New York and on the way-- and in-- Montreal. Like most people I hate the sound of my own voice at certain times and it was tough to do the required narrative especially since I am not in an unhappy place at the moment. I had to resort to my simple Movie Maker to edit since I had a few technical issues with an aging laptop but I think it managed to get the point across although I can see the limitations and the user error! I used a cell phone for most footage and borrowed a Canon EOS for video in the car.
On a bridge/walking along the river/in a market/in the subway/in a car driving by the river/on the train.
Narration by defeated, exhausted, numb woman Arianne whose voice barely speaks her truth until she begins to feel and become stronger.
Arianne: I felt the loss of you today. The relief and sadness. I'll leave quietly tomorrow through the noise of city streets. Follow the impatient roads to an inaudible distance where you can no longer hear me cry. The blur of hope gone. But I'll find myself again. The dust of our past will shake off...our backs, the winds. Today, the tracks. All of this will be gone soon. Please don't follow me when I leave.
I don't recognize these people. Not my home. Soon to be home.
I should be thanking you. I should thank you for the ride. But I won't speak. I'll just disappear into the silence. Just breathe in the movement. I feel myself..I feel myself let go of you with every mile. Every car. I know you won't remember...you'll only think of the good and try to forgive the bad. But as you drive silently just know I think of this. I think of every moment. The regrets. The pain. But I start to feel clearer. The weight's lifting. We've miles towards the Salt Road. Towards the station. I am heavy with memories but the fear is dropping, leaving. I feel it releasing, going into the river.
I feel myself leaving this cage.
Finally night...the train....and finally alone.
I felt the loss today again. More relief than sadness, though. Today the tracks of train cut into the earth and I can feel my lungs break open. I can breath. I'm almost home...[music]